bleckwoman

My vacation was wonderful. I am working on getting my pictures up online so everyone can see. We did a lot of walking around the boardwalk in Atlantic City. I did see the ocean for the first time and it was amazing! It took my breathe away. I walked in it but it was way to cold to go swimming in it. It was so hot outside but the ocean was only in the 50s and I couldn’t take the water temps. I did get a lot of other exercise in, walking and walking and walking and some night time exercise (it was our “second” honeymoon)
We didn’t win anything at the casinos, but we had fun walking around them and looking at all the decor.

MY eating while on vacation went well. I only went a stray twice but it was because of where we were eating our meals. We were on the road and there weren’t a lot of places to eat. I had salads for dinner every night and chicken sandwiches or Subway other times. I didn’t stick to the no eating past 7pm rule though cuz we didn’t get back to the hotel until late and I was hungry so I had pretzels or a few peanuts as a snack.

So I was thinking today….. I am working really hard and I have been seeing so many changes in myself sine I started to diet.

I use to go out and eat what ever I wanted to. Now I really think about what I am going to order and ask for dressings to be on the side, or to have no mayo on sandwiches. I think about how much I really want something before I make my decisions. I don’t eat any more just for the sake of eating. I eat because I am hungry or it is time to eat.

I also make time for exercise. I figure it into my schedule…..
I am also noticing a lot of changes in my body. I have shoulders, and bones near my collar bone that you can see because the fat is gone. I am down to sizes that I can’t even remember wearing. I know it was sometime before high school when I wore them last, because my jeans from high school were a size 28W, I had a pair that I found and was shocked. I am now wearing a size 18w in jeans (from some stores) or an 20W.

I have more energy, I can do things that I could never have done at this time last year. For example walking the 10 miles a day on vacation without getting tires. Sure I had a few blisters on my feet but my legs weren’t tired.

All in all I am feeling so motivated!!! If I can continue the way I am going right now I know I will meet my goal. I have all the reason in the world. I want to be a mommy, more than anything. And I want to continue to make my parents proud. I called my mom today to tell her about my shopping trip while on vacation, I got a new outfit and she was so proud of me for being able to buy the size I did. It feels good when people can say you are looking great. It gives me a skip in my step and motivation to keep moving and working hard! I know some day I will be where I want to be, and I will be so happy, and I will have all of my buddies on here to thank for that!!!

Well I have rambled enough. I have to get some sleep so I can get up in the am and go for my walk. Thanks for reading!!!!

actually passed!  I lost two pounds this week which put me past my mini goal by one pound! I am so excited because this time I had to work extra hard to meet the goal. I had a gain and then had to loose again. But meeting that goal this morning felt great… but something else felt even better… leaving the 260s behind!!! I can see them in my rear view mirror on the high way through the 250s.   What felt even better was the great big hug I got from Mike this morning when I told him I lost 2 pounds and that I was in the 50s!!!He was so happy too!! It made me feel so good!

I set a new mini goal this morning for 255. I like to set the goals for every 5 pounds now, it keeps me motivated to have that goal and then meet it. I feel like I am accomplishing something! I am so excited to meet that next goal…… but I also have vacation coming up and I am feeling scared and worried about eating and getting in my exercise while on vacation…. I have been so good for 6 months! well I am off for a very busy day ahead of me!!! Thanks for reading…

It’s been a while since I last posted, and I am wondering if I have been just avoiding my blog because my weight loss has been kinda slow these last few weeks. I even had a gain for the first time in 6 months. I just haven’t felt like blogging and you know something that is probably the worst thing I could have done.. Not Blog. But I sometimes just don’t know what to post, my life isn’t that exciting, in fact it is kinda boring.

When I blog I get so many nice and encouraging comments. It is so up lifting and motivating and one of the top reasons I love BS so much, all of the support!!  My top reason of course is all of my buddies and my team the Heartbreakers!

These last few weeks I haven’t really been doing that great with the scale. I know that it is not always easy, and I shouldn’t let the numbers discourage me. I feel great, and I am down 6 sizes from when I began and that shows progress.

I just wish that when I looked in the mirror I saw a change. It’s like my mirror is stuck in the past. I will never see what I have always wanted to see.  I have been trying to do what my buddy Brett suggested for us to do which was to say “Hi Beautiful” every time I look in the mirror. He said it would help boost our confidence, and well it worked for a while, but now I am just not seeing beautiful when I look in the mirror.  I am seeing flaws and things that I need to change. I try to make myself look good, but it just never seems to be enough for me. I know that it sounds weird but I have never felt pretty in my life except for once on my wedding day. I felt like I princess that day and then when it was over I felt like Cinderella who just lost her slipper only I wasn’t getting my slipper back. I have had  this body my whole life and it has been my prison. I am trying so hard to break out of the prison, but I seem to be going no where. I gained 2 and lost 1, and this week I just weighed myself this morning and doesn’t look  like the scale will be moving again. I just need a good jump start again. I feel like I am loosing my motivation. I feel lost, and confused…..
I am sorry if I sound so glum and depressed I just feel that way this morning. I don’t get to go to school and see my students today, because I have to go correct a New York State Exam for our 8th grade class because their teacher couldn’t go. My class is my strength and my joy for the day (sometimes the only joyful things in my day except my buddies messages especially Sandy’s she always makes me smile). And when I don’t get to see them and teach them I feel empty. They are my kids, because I have none. I don’t know what I will do it two weeks when I am done for the summer. 2 Months without students isn’t going to be good for me.

I better go I have to get ready to go correct. Thanks for reading… sorry I rambled.. I have a lot on my mind!