Sadness with my Nephew’s 3rd bday…
Today has been a hard day for me. It is my nephew’s 3rd birthday. And I have been kinda sad all day. I never thought that 3 years would go by and that Mike and I would still be childless. We have been trying for 3 1/2 years now and my heart aches today to know that we still don’t have the family we have wanted for so long. It aches almost as bad as it did the day that I found out that my brother and his wife were expecting. Talking to my nephew on the phone today made it worse, I know and feel what I am missing out on, not being a mom. I sometimes don’t understand why things happen the way that they do. I don’t understand why someone who would love a child with every ounce of their being can’t seem to have one of their own. Sometimes I wonder what I ever did wrong to deserve that. I know that I am here because I am fighting so hard not to go eat right now. I am here because I am working so hard to hopefully one day be able to hold a little hand and look into the eyes of the child that I have wanted to bring into this world for so long. I just hope that I am not too late, let’s face it I am already over 30 and my mom struggled having my brother because she was over 30. Why did it take me so long to see that my life, needed a change? Why haven’t I been blessed with the precious life that I so long to create?
Sorry for the sadness, I am just feeling kinda down tonight.
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I wouldn’t worry about your age, you still have plenty of time to have a baby. My sister had her first one at 43, and I was born when my mother was 46! Saying that, you don’t want to leave it that late.
I’m assuming you have been to the doctor and both your and your husband’s fertility checked.
One thing I do know is that if you are overweight, it definitely does limit your chances of conception and successfully carrying a baby to full term. I had a friend who weighed about 275lbs (never quite sure what she actually weighed, and tried for 7 years to get pregnant. She joined Weightwatchers,stopped worrying about not being pregnant, and then at around 180lbs she got pregnant aged 34. She now has three children.
She kept the weight off and has actually lost quite a bit more because she wanted to be healthy and active for her children. She also wanted her children to be a normal weight as she struggled with weight loss all her life, so she has healthy meals. I don’t know her actual weight now, but I’d say she’d be around 150lbs and is about 5′6″ and her children are all normal weight for their age.
If you want to get pregnant, you’ll probably need to shed a few more pounds. I know that is easier said than done, but if the goal is big enough for you, I know you can do it.
If you have children, you will want to be healthy to enjoy a long life with them, so it is important to try and keep your weight down. That is reason so many great parents have joined Buddyslim.
We’re here to support and motivate you, so have faith in your own ability and willpower to achieve your life goals.
Good luck with losing those extra pounds so you can be a mom.
Don’t be sad Julie…. be glad you have this opportunity to get into shape before you have your little ones. You’ll need to be able to keep up with them! I just picture you chasing them around the yard, thanking God that you are able to run and play and set such a healthy example for them. It will happen in God’s time…. in the meantime you are such a good teacher, let the class fill your heart for now. love you, jules… ooxx
I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug! I am sure that you will fulfill your dreams of having a baby! Sending you lots of good thoughts and prayers!
Big HUGS!
I know first hand how frustrating it is. We’ve been trying for over 3 years to have a second child. The other ladies are right, you have lots of time. As for me, well - tick tock - I’m 38. It’s particularly hard (for me) to lose weight while trying to get pregnant. The anxiety coupled with disappointment ever month is hard to handle. I’m so tired of it. Even though I know I shouldn’t, every month I calculate what time of year the baby will be born. Keep your faith. Lots and lots of people struggle and most end up very happy in the end. All the best to you.
We’ve been trying to have a second child for over 3 years and I’m 38. Tick Tock. The other ladies are right, you are very young and it will happen. Every month I get very anxious and then disappointed. It’s hard to lose weight this way. Don’t lose your faith. It will happen.
Hey - i big hug out to you. My friend is going through same heartache - she’z been trying for two years . Her problem is the weight gain - but is not doing anything about it - its hard, v hard to get weight loss started - but its worth it. Please dont loose faith .x
Julie,
I never told you this but my BIL and SIL have been trying for years too. Probably about 3. They are on medicine to try and help her get a regular period. I pray for both of you, my 2 J’s to get pregnant. She is a preschool teacher and you 2 remind me of each other.
A friend of mine married her husband at 23, and he has a disease where he is on a lot of medicine and she knew they would never have kids. She loved him, accepted it, and let go of that dream and today at age 36, she is 14 weeks pregnant.
Please don’t think 31 is too late. Don’t give up Hope and do not give up faith. (((hugs))) I wish I had some realy awesome advice to make you feel instantly better and relieve the stress of this but I do’t, but I am here for you, and I care about you, and i hope you know that.
Oh, Julie, hugs to you! You are still very young…. lots of people have kids at a much older age than you. I have a feeling that you WILL be a mommy sooner than you think. We only worry about things we really care about, and obviously you really care about having a baby. It’ll happen.. keep on the amazing weight loss track you’re on, keep busy in the sack and you’ll get your wish
lolz, hugs to you julie!
To this moment of sadness and make it into an oppurtunity to re-motivate yourself lose that weight for the baby that you will soon have in your arms!