bleckwoman

I have decided after reading through some of the blogs that I am going to share my goals with all of you for the next month. What do I hope to accomplish by the end of December.   Well I would like to stay on track everyday for the whole month, no eating things I shouldn’t  be eating. I want to journal all my food  each day.  I would like to stay on a loosing streak, and not have a weigh in where I gain at all this month! I also want to make sure I am getting exercise at least 3-4 times a week. I am also going to try to not stress out and remain calm during the whole month. Lately with my job and things that has been difficult.

So there now that I have these goals in writing, maybe I will be able to meet them all. I know now that you all know and will hold me accountable for my goals.

I had a a long day yesterday  and when I  got home my mom called  I need some prayers… my nephew had an xray done and they found out that his spinal cord is wrapped too tight at the bottom and he could end up paralyzed. They have an appointment with the neurologist and all but I don’t know if there is anything that they can do for it. If you could pray for him any his parents that would be greatly appreciated. I am so worried about him, I love that little boy like he is my own. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him. I don’t have any children and he is the closest thing I have to my own. He is only 3 years old and he is so active and always on the go. It might be a blessing that they found this now, because they were actually looking for something else. Maybe it is God’s way of saying look there is something else wrong.

I just don’t think that I could bare to watch him go through this.. All prayers would be appreciated…

that I have gained 3 pounds this week. Sure I admit I had a slip up last Sunday and ate a few pieces of Halloween candy, but not enough to gain 3 pounds. That is half the weight that I lost last month, all in a week. I worked really hard to get my exercise in and not eat any more candy all week. Every time I was heading for the dish, I thought of my buddy Sandy (LYM) and how she would be sooooooo mad at me and give me a butt kicking. I had my husband put the bowl in his room where I can’t see it. I haven’t touched it since my slip  up last Sunday.

I even did something that I didn’t think I could do on Wednesday. I got home late from work and it was too dark to go for a walk, so I got on my elliptical machine and stayed on for 30 minutes.I had to push myself to stay on but I did it, and I was so proud of myself for doing it. I even had my husband yelling at me like Jillian so that I wouldn’t get off before my 30 minutes were up.

I just don’t understand how the scale can say what it did.

I am going to vow today that this is back to the beginning or me. I have been on this journey for almost 11 months and I am starting fresh today. No more little slip ups, and I am going to loose those three pounds again. I want to be at 70 pounds down before I go to my doctor again. I want to be healthy, I don’t want to feel ashamed and embarrased to come on this site and report that I have gained again. Even though I don’t know how it happened.

I am feeling sad today, because of the scale and I know that this is going to be a rough week for me already with the schedule I am going to have for work. I don’t need this sadness with the week I am heading for already. I really need happiness to get me through. Just wish I could find it in me to pull through.

Thanks for reading, I know I have been rambling, but I have to get it out somewhere, before it makes me depressed.