bleckwoman

I woke up this morning to find that yet again my quest to become a mommy didn’t work. I woke up to have an unwanted visitor… TOM is here to ruin my birthday.

I don’t want to deal with this today of all days. Mike and I thought that this time our trying worked. I was having all kinds of unexplained symptoms of being pregnant, but I guess it didn’t work. To have this happen and then to find out in the last month that there are two people at work who  are expecting, one of which isn’t really happy that she is, well this is just a cruel joke to play on me. I feel at my lowest that I have ever been at today.

I should be happy and full of life today, for pete’s sake it’s my birthday, but I don’t even feel like celebrating. All I see if the number 32, and know that my time is running out to be a young mom.

I had all these plans for tody, I was going to get up and go to the eye doctor appointment I had then come home and exercise and then relax the rest of the day.. but I don’t even know if I will do all that. I think I am going to just hide out today…..