bleckwoman

So today was the day! I was so nervous this morning and ended up getting to the doctor early. I checked in and sat there waiting my turn. Finally I was called in and they did all the work up on me and took me to the room to wait for the doctor.

Well when she walked in she started looking at my chart and stuff and she is like you have lost weight. I was like yup! She asked me a bunch of questions about how I was doing it, then she said ” you’re doing good” I felt a rush of pride come over me and I said ” yes I am” and ” I am doing it all on my own, well mostly on my own. I did give all of my buddies here a shout out for being my support team!!!

We talked some more and  she kept telling me I was doing great. She did my exam and then she left the room while I got dressed again and  then I met her in the hall so she could go over some stuff with me. When I walked out of the room, she told me I looked wodnerful and that she wants me to keep going. That I look great!! And the last thing that she said to me was ” I’m proud of you”… I almost wanted to start crying.

My ego got so big after that visit!!!   I am so proud of myself. I am able to do it. I can do this for myself and so that I can have a child.

We also talked about my menstral cycles, being a bit more regular lately. She is happy wth that but woudl like them to be moe regular. She thinks that if I drop more weight it will happen. She also said that just because my cycles are getting more normal doesn’t mean that I  am ovulating, which I need to do in order to conceive. So she showed me how to chart my Basal body temperatures in the morning before I get out of bed. She wants me to do that for a few cycles and see how looks.  She woudl ultimatly like to see me down to 200lb or lower. She thinks that would be the best for me to conceive.

After my appointment today I feel like I have this new energy. I exercised for 30 minuets with the Wii Fit doing aerobics and yoga and strength training. THen I just used my elliptical for 25 minutes. And what makes me the proudest of myself is that I baked chocolate chip cookies the other day, and they are still sitting on the counter. I didn’t touch them all week. In fact I haven’t touched anything that I shoudln’t have been eating all week!  I was lost, but now I am found again. I am back on track and doing better than ever.

Today is the best day I have had in a long time. ” I’m proud of you” I keep playing that over and over in my head, as I see the doctor’s face with a huge smile on it and feel wonderful! Like all my work was worth it!

Curb Mindless Eating
Okay, you’ve all heard the term “grazing” — you know, picking at food throughout the day instead of (or in addition to) eating regular meals. This constant, indiscriminate eating — especially when you’re focused on another task, such as talking on the phone or watching TV — is the downfall of many a committed dieter, but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re piling on pounds because you eat when you’re distracted or bored, rather than when you’re actually hungry, try the following tactics to break the habit.

As I sit here trying to figure out what to say to my doctor tomorrow. I realize, that she might not even be impressed with how I have done in a year. She might not even make mention of it. I am hoping that she does mention how good I have done. I need that extra push.

I have decided one thing though. I am taking a picture of me from before, from where I was when I started. I want to show her how far I have come. I am sure that she probably won’t remember how I looked one year ago.  SHe is my gnyo doctor and she only sees me once a year. I wouldn’t expect her to remember.

So I guess I am just rambling, but I am nervous about tomorrow. I just have this feeling that the appointment won’t go as I have seen it going.

20 minutes on my elliptical so far today! I got an unexpected day off due to a storm hitting the area. We have had really strong winds and they didn’t want the kids outside waiting for the buses. It’s ok with me! I needed a ME day anyways! Even though I am going to be on vacation all next week, but this was a nice surprise!

So I am doing well this week. I wogged 2 miles on Monday and Tuesday, and used the elliptical for 15 minutes yesterday. I have workedout for 1 hour and 20 minutes so far today, but I think I am going to go and play the Wii Fit some more.
I have been eating healthy this week too. Well except a small slip up this morning. I had a handful of Chex Mix and about 10 Candy hearts. But I am back on track and doing fine.

I go in 5 days to see my doctor, and I want to be down some mroe weight before then. I am hoping for a loss this week, but I have a feeling my body won’t cooperate. It hasn’t been for a few months. I think I have been hitting a plateau. I loose and gain back and loose and gain back. But the best thing is I haven’t given up yet.

I am getting excited for Valentine’s day. My hubby and I are going on another date night! We don’t go on many and this will be actually 2 in 3 months!

Well I am going to go do some more Wii Fit….

So I decided to take some time out today from my busy day, and write a blog. I needed some me time!

I just realized that I go to the doctor in a week. Not just any doctor, but the one who told me that I can’t do this on my own. That  I would have to have surgery to get rid of all the weight, that I woudl never be able to do it. It has been a year since I last saw her. I can’t wait to march right into that office on the 17th and show her how far I have come! I want to just see her reaction! I want to shove it in her face that I have lost 65 pounds since 12/28/07! I have this speech planned out in my head, whether or not I actually give it is another story:

I can’t do it my butt! I can do it and thanks to you doc, I have come more than half way! You made me so made, and really depressed for a while. But then I took that anger and I used it to push me! I used it to fuel my motivation!   I was doing this to prove you wrong, but some where along the way I started to do it for me, because it felt good because I realized that I was worth it!  I just have two words to share with you…… I CAN!

So that is what I would really like to say to the doctor on the 17th. I am too reserved and probably won’t say any of it, but at least you all know how I really feel!

Well I am off to get the turkey ready for dinner. I am having company today, my parents are coming to have dinner with my hubby and I!