HELP! I’m lost and can’t seem to find my way back……
It’s been a while since I have blogged. I have been on my journey now for almost 2 years. In fact in a month it will be 2 years. I started this journey to prove to my doctor I could loose the weight on my own. I proved that by loosing a lot before I went back to see her again.
My other goal for loosing weight is to be able to start a family. Well a few months back my doctor tried to assist my husband and I in that goal by doing some procedures to try to get us to the goal. WE tried three cycles of meds and crap and nothing seems to work. I was actually on meds for 6 months and it didn’t work. WE have been trying for 5 years now and we have been on meds before and had procedures done. Nothing works. I am sorry if this is too much information, I just need to be able to explain what is going on.
So here is my problem… this last time the procedure didn’t work, I knew in my heart that, that was it. It wasn’t going to work and my chance to be a mother was never going to happen. After I had bloodwork and was told again for the 100+ time that I wasn ‘t pregnant I hit a low. I have been so sad and feeling empty. I have been struggling with my eating and exercise.
I can’t seem to get myself back on track. I could make a thousand excuses, and tell myself I will get back there tomorrow, but it doesn’t happen. This week I gained back 4 pounds. I was at 73 pounds lost and now I am back down to 69. I am struggling and don’t know how to get back. I was doing so good for almost 2 years and now I can’t control myself.
I have never been at this low of a weight or been wearing such a smaller size. I felt good until maybe 2 months ago when I found out that I wasn’t pregnant. Right now my hubby and I argue all the time because of the fact that I have been so sad and eating everything in the house. He thinks that we could still get pregnant, but I have given up any hope of that happening. This time of the year is especially hard on me becuase of all the family and friends that keep asking ” you have been married for 5 years when are you going to have a baby?” UGH!
I just need help I don’t know why I can’t find my way back but I need to….
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Sounds like you have been putting far too much pressure on yourself to be perfect, and you’re punishing yourself for not achieving your goal - which is so much more than just losing weight, it’s getting the life that you want. Who wouldn’t crack under that pressure!
Realise that you’re doing great (70 pounds is LIFE CHANGING, well done you!), and you can’t blame yourself like this for it not getting the results - yet. Eating right and exercising well makes you happy - try to stick with it. If you continue punishing yourself by eating like this for another.. week.. month.. you’ll be even further from your weight goal and even more unhappy.
Stay strong, you can do this - and don’t give up.
Hi Julie, I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time. Maybe one way to get back on track is to remember that the heavier you are the harder it will be to get pregnant. I also want to tell you please don’t give up hope. I was trying to have a baby with my ex husband for 5 + years before it finally happened for me. No matter how many different meds you take or what the doctors do you won’t have that baby until God is ready for you to have it. Please stay strong and don’t give up on yourself or your future child. We’re all here for you!
You’re doing a great thing by coming back here for support!! 70 lbs is amazing, and gaining a few of it back is nothing, especially given the stress and sadness you’ve been feeling. I can’t really give you any advice, obviously, but do keep posting here as you need to, and let us give you strength when you need it.
I have felt before like I couldn’t get back on track. Please don’t wait for a sudden bolt of motivation out of nowhere. Sometimes you have to just do it even when you don’t want to. I started by making myself do even a 10 minute walk, something, anything! I agree, don’t give up, especially on yourself.
The best advice I can give you Julie is this: Listen to all the above. It’s all true, good advice and there’s not much more I can add. Just remember we’re all here….. and many of your buddies have been where you are right now. My oldest son and his wife were married for 13 years before they were parents. What a surprise that was. They had already decided that their ‘family’ of kitties was it….next thing the poor kitties knew they were ‘outdoor cats’. Now they have a son and daughter, both in college. God usually knows best.
You may have to go to Mayo clinic, but they might be able to help you with trying to get pregnant. Insurance covers most of it. But you have to get a hotel for a few days to a week. I would certainly contact them and see what they can do. You deserve a baby and you should have one. Don’t fret too much. My friend who is 52 had a baby last year. And the baby girl is healthy and so is my friend. There is so much hope. You just need some contacts of people who can help you professionally. We want to hear about it when it happens, when you are ready to announce it. I love babies. I have 2 grown kids and a 3 year old grandson. My daughter was bedridden for 4 months while she was pregnant but it was worth and she would do it again. Good luck and I will put you on the top of my prayer list.. Carol
Better make that “always”. Don’t want to offend ….
Julie *hugs* Don’t punish yourself, you have done awesome and will continue to do so if you let yourself. You have done nothing wrong, and when the time is right, you will get pregnant and have a baby. My prayers are will you.
Stay here and get support, and recognize what an awesome job you have done so far.
Julie, I can’t give you any advice that everyone hasn’t already. Just please know that you are in our thoughts. I will be praying for you.
Julie you have made it soooo far. I know how hard it is when you are down and emotional not 100% to want to eat and eat. But remember eating is not going to solve your problems, it will only make them worse. Keep yourself healthy! Remember you are only 32… you are young! THere is time. I think the advice about Mayo Clinic is great. Also just keep trying… you never know when it may happen. Try to think postive and little by little get back on track…start with some exercise outside to get some fresh air! You can do it!
OH hun, I am so sorry. Keep you head up. Maybe this is a way of showing you to adopt. My freinds having been trying for 4 years and gave up too. But they adopted and have a beautiful little girl. I know you wouldnt be its birth mother, but you would still be a mommy.